I Once Hated Dark Chocolate (and Other Reasons I Know Transformation is Possible)

Mmmm. Yum. Dark chocolate. I tend to love the European brands, ranging from 75-95% pure cocoa. I let it melt in my mouth as long as I can. I am a dark chocolate fiend. Really! Ask anyone who has seen me near a bar of that delectable goodness. I have trouble putting it down. One of the most amazing days of my life was the day I visited a chocolate factory in Switzerland and sampled the darkest of the dark to my heart’s content (and stomach’s chagrin).

I can remember a time, though; I didn’t like chocolate at all, not even a bit. I would exchange Halloween candy with my siblings just to get more of the sweet, sugary stuff like Starbursts, Sprees, and Sour Patch Kids. They could generally have all of the chocolately candy bars they wanted from me.

I have changed.

Yes, that’s right. I am not the same as I once was. (Shocking, right?) Fortunately, the scope of my transformation extends far beyond my changed taste in sweets. I have plenty of other good examples of change in my life, both trivial and significant:

-From not making my bed as a child to making it nearly every day of my life since freshman year of college
-From general disgust with avocado to love for avocado so great that I eat it straight up with a spoon
-From always wanting to catch my shows to not having had a T.V. for years
-From hate and dread of running to restlessness if I don’t get in a run or hike
-From adamant opposition to attending Oregon State to having graduated from OSU ’04 after transferring following my sophomore year at Northwestern and loving it!
-From thinking that I was not one of those crazy, “called” missionaries who would live overseas to living two years in Kazakhstan as a missionary and never regretting it for a second

Well, the list could go on and on. I think you get the point. It’s just that I realize that each of these examples goes to show me that change really is possible. While some of the changes listed are a matter of grown-up preferences and choices, others are truly matters of the heart.

I wasn’t able to transfer to Oregon State until I was able to let go of pride (because a state school just wasn’t good enough while I was in high school), misplaced worth (the issuing school of my degree should NOT be a determining factor in my value as a person), and my own plans of my future (farewell dance degree and NU friends).

I wasn’t able to pick up and move to Kazakhstan without God gently and diligently tugging on my heart to let go of the conveniences and comforts of my familiar, Western world while also giving me a greater love for people of all nations and an expanded vision for people everywhere to know and experience His love. I remember shaking with fear when I realized in the summer of 2001 that God might just want me to live in Kazakhstan. By the time I went in 2005, I couldn’t wait to go. I was ready. To this day, I cannot wait to return.

Thinking back on this is important for me, because it reminds me that I am not “stuck” as I am. I won’t always be this way or that way. For me, I don’t have to just accept that I’ll just always struggle with food and body image issues. I never need to think that I am and always will be too selfish to serve or just too dramatic about my own life to listen to others share about their lives. I can have an appropriate view of self. I can submit to God and others in humility. I can learn to put my own needs on hold and stop vying for attention so that I can truly get to know others.

I can become more the person God wants me to be, each and every day.

God has been changing me all along, and He will continue to do so. He is in the business of transforming lives. This is good. I could use a lot of help, and I’m so glad that He is not finished with me…or you.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:23 & 24